I’ve been wanting to post this article for a couple weeks now and wrote most of it when I first got home from my solo trip to Europe earlier this month. But the more I thought about it, I really wanted to let my feelings on the topic of solo travel marinate for a while and see how I felt a few weeks after the experience before posting my thoughts here.
This recent trip to Europe isn’t my first time traveling alone or my first time traveling alone abroad.
I’ve traveled numerous times to Seoul and other parts of South Korea on my own for work and I’ve done more trips within the US alone than I can count. But this was the first trip that I did on my own to Europe and to cities that Nick and I both have a deep fondness for.
Before I go on, I want to state that I do truly believe that traveling alone is something I think everyone should experience at one point or another. It’s something like nothing else, it makes you think differently, it makes you take in more around you and it really is inspiring in many ways that traveling with other people often isn’t.
It’s a way to build your independence, a way to break free of social regulation and a way to explore parts of the world and parts of yourself more deeply.
But it can also be lonely and isolating in ways that we may never even realize until we experience it.
And truthfully, it can be draining as well, both emotionally and physically when you don’t have another person to rely on or be up with in the middle of the night when you’re jet lagged.
I also really think it’s important to relay the truth about some of the darker parts of traveling
here on the blog. And while I whole-heartedly believe travel is overall a fantastic experience,
here on the blog. And while I whole-heartedly believe travel is overall a fantastic experience,
there are some things,
like traveling alone, that can really test you.
This most recent trip was one that I wouldn’t take back and I know I am so blessed to have had this opportunity but it was also one that was hard for me in a way my other solo excursions haven’t been.
This one was in 2 cities that Nick and I love, 2 places that we have so many memories.
Walking around Paris especially, I’d see something and want so badly to turn to him and show him,
or I’d walk by a restaurant we’ve eaten at or a boulevard we’ve wandered down,
and it made it even more apparent that he wasn’t there with me,
that I was creating memories alone, without him.
I missed sharing the moments abroad with him and it
felt sort of wrong to be experiencing them without him.
On the other hand, this trip did open up many lessons to be learned. It challenged me in ways that my travels with Nick do not. I didn’t have someone to rely on for help finding places or the security of having a man by my side. It made me more aware of my surroundings, which helped me see beautiful little details around me that I perhaps would not have, had I been with someone else.
I think that traveling alone is definitely something everyone should experience at some point.
It really is a way to connect with yourself and even when lonely, it gives you a tremendous opportunity to find yourself, to explore new places and build up courage on your own.
All of my experiences abroad alone have taught me different things and I credit some of my deepest soul searching moments to those trips.
But as I get older and the more I travel, at the end of the day,
I just miss my husband and wanted to share our travels together,
creating memories together.
themovetoamerica says
This was really interesting to read as I too have done solo travel within the UK (where I live) and abroad.
I used to live on my own (for quite a few years) as I do not drive, always had to rely on myself to get about etc. I did not mind going solo around the world (or back home) as it was just part of my life at the time.
Since meeting and marrying my lovely Hubby, I have found living alone or going on a solo trip really hard. It is as you described, I wanted to share what I saw/did/experienced with him as he is who I want to be with more than any other person. Suddenly, what I did before without any worries or feelings of loneliness etc I could no longer do, all because I had found that one person I wanted to be with and travelling alone hit home that at that moment, I was without him.
I think once I have got through the visa process and can be with him again, I may feel differently about travelling alone … we’ll see!
Thanks for sharing – and sorry for the rambling, long comment!
Molly
Casey Martin says
Thanks Molly! I really appreciated this comment! It’s so true though… you want them to be there to make the memories with you. And while important to experience solo travel, I think that traveling with someone you love, makes the experience even more valuable!
ifs ands Butts says
I’ve only done one solo trip, but it was 10 days and I definitely went through the independent, free ups and the emotional, lonely downs. I certainly agree though that everyone should experience it.
Casey Martin says
Thanks for sharing! Yes, there are definitely highs and lows when traveling alone but totally worth experiencing it.
Blush and Barbells says
I’ve travelled alone for up to four months at a time. I may actually prefer it since I don’t have to make any compromises about where to go, what to see, when to eat, etc. On the other hand, my guy is a good travel companion and pretty easy-going so I like that too.
Casey Martin says
Wow, four months is quite a long time to be alone! And yes, on compromises, I can see that. Usually my husband and I are totally like minded during travel so it works out for us. Thanks for your insight!
Aaron Smith says
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Mishele Smith AKA TheWildSmithberrys says
I have not had the opportunity to travel alone but I have traveled with my two boys when they were young…unexpectedly. My husband had to return to France with the dog because the vet forgot to sign the dog’s vaccine. We decided that I would travel with the boys to the UK for a few days as planned. At first it was scare to be in a foreign country as the sole adult but that initial nervousness quickly faded. Given a choice, I would rather travel with my husband but the experience was not as scary as I would have thought.
Casey Martin says
I can imagine how scary that must have been in a foreign place with kids alone! My mom traveled with us when I was little alone a lot and I always think about how much that must have affected her views of traveling… but after you get going, it just fades into another travel experience. Great insight!
Erika from Chimerikal says
I really appreciate this take, Casey! I think that a lot of times, there’s so much promotion of solo travel without talking about these aspects. I’ve had the pleasure of traveling in groups, with a friend, and also alone (though besides a disastrous trip in NYC, I haven’t traveled with a significant other yet). And it definitely is different.
I think a good piece of advice that I’m taking from this is to maybe explore NEW places alone. Like you said, there’s definitely value in going back to places alone, but then you’re kind of haunted by the past instead of enjoying it through new eyes.
Wow, this post is really making me think a lot about this topic. I have soooooo many thoughts swirling around in my head. Thanks for this and your openness with this… and sharing the complexity of being grateful but also torn. (And that’s perfectly acceptable — and human!)
–Erika
http://www.chimerikal.com
Casey Martin says
Thanks so much for your insight! And you’re right, new places are easier to explore alone because you don’t have previous memories there with someone else. Thanks for the great comments!
Rachel says
This was really interesting! I’ve only ever traveled alone for work… and one time I took a plane ride to Scotland by myself to visit my husband while we were still living in DC. I’m not sure how I’d do in a different country if I was completely alone. It would definitely be different.
Casey Martin says
Yea, it’s weird being in another country without Nick… and I think that’s just because we travel so well together. Thanks for the insight!
lost in travels says
i loved hearing about this casey. i’ve only ever traveled to my destination alone, but i’ve always had people on the other side waiting for me (even if it was the first time meeting that person). i think that it can be so beneficial despite the trials that comes with it. it’s something that i wish i would have done more before i got married but now that i have my husband, i wouldn’t want to travel any other way! great piece!
Casey Martin says
Very good point… it is so different when you have someone on the end but still beneficial for the lessons that solo travel gives you!
Rima says
ah thanks about this Casey. I will be doing several days alone as I fly to Switzerland to visit my boyfriend, so I’m pretty nervous. My biggest fear would probably the language barrier but my boyfriend said, “Rima if I can do it, so can you.”
But like you said, it would be a great time to do some soul searching 🙂
Casey Martin says
I think you’ll be totally fine traveling solo! It’s a nice time to reflect definitely.
tiarenie says
i’ve traveled alone a few times and i agree with everything you’ve said.. its great and not so great at the same time. i loved the freedom of going where i wanted to go (at my own pace), sleeping when i’ve wanted to sleep, and eating when and where i wanted to, but at the same time it always got kind of boring and lonely! i wonder if the place you’re traveling to changes things. spending all day at an all inclusive where theres not huge life changing things to see/experience might be a nice way to have some alone time, whereas exploring an exotic place or big city would be fun to do with someone else? i feel that now that im married things have changed.. is it even socially acceptable to travel alone (if not for work) without your spouse? i think i’d feel weird planning a trip for just myself!
Casey Martin says
I think you’re right, that it depends on the places you’re going to. I have found since being with Nick that I just don’t really want to travel without him and I think that’s a good thing when we feel like that. Great comments!
Erica says
I totally agree that traveling alone has its downsides, but I also find that when I travel alone, I’m more likely to strike up friendships with fellow travelers and locals alike. I think it’s because you’re a bit starved for companionship, but also because people are more likely to talk to you when you’re kind of bopping around alone instead of deep in conversation with someone. 😉
I’ve never traveled with a significant other… though now that I actually have one, I’m leaving him at home to go see Europe by myself (and with friend there!) 🙂
Erica says
However, I can totally imagine being reminded of someone that you miss back home if you’re in a city that you’ve explored together. 😉
Casey Martin says
Yea it’s an interesting balance for sure. There are definitely up sides and downsides to traveling alone! Thanks for the insight!
Melanie Fontaine says
Such a beautifully written post! And I very much understand your feelings – I’m feeling the same way write now! I’m currently traveling through Norway and while I’m not traveling solo, I don’t travel with my boyfriend and constantly see things that I would want to share with him!
Cristina Wilson says
Your blog is much informative for your blog users, I want to tell you that I am a tourist, and I also like travel alone or with my fellows. It’s so nice experience for me. You include enough and interesting data in your blog. Good work and nice sharing for your blog users.
Cristina Wilson says
Your blog is much informative for your blog users, I want to tell you that I am a tourist, and I also like travel alone or with my fellows. It’s so nice experience for me. You include enough and interesting data in your blog. Good work and nice sharing for your blog users.
Ashwin Aj says
Yes, it is very informative for the travelers. I am also a tourist and have been visited a lot of countries alone. I have many great experiences during my trips. Last year i have been used hawaii island tour i had great fun there with my fellow travelers.
David Paul says
Nice sharing dear! Almost two years ago; I also had a chance to go for Europe trip alone and it was amazing experience. Definitely! Traveling alone is difficult but it gives you a wonderful opportunity to find yourself, to explore new places and build up your self confidence. The most attractive place for me in all over the Europe was the Eiffel Tower.
elclasico20 says
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elclasico20 says
Going through last Sundays article on Solo travel on Sunday times (Times of India) i was really looking forward for a trip alone. After reading this post, Yes now a solo trip to south India soon to discover about myself before i go to watch El clasico in spain this year end. Thank you and regards from India.
Casey Martin says
Sounds excellent to me! 🙂
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Howard Henry says
Thanks for this nice sharing your provided information is very helpful for me. These all tips are very beneficial for those travelers who travel alone all around the world. I must follow these tips during my tours.
Latifah Mwangaza says
This is exactly what I needed to see. I love travel. I love the idea of learning and experiencing new culture, food and music, going to a place where nobody knows you, allowing you the freedom to reflect on yourself, where you are and where you want to be. I am currently a student in Malaysia and I think it would be a great time to start travelling around, starting with the South East Asian region. I am sure it would be a greatly rewarding experience and I cannot wait. It was lovely to read something by someone with similar sentiments as my own. Thank you.
Latifah, Miri, Malaysia.
Casey Martin says
Thank you so much for your kind words, can’t wait to have you follow along! 🙂