I wrote this post on my way to Hawaii to see my parents last week, watching the sun rising outside the plane windows as the Portland rain faded into fluffy white clouds on the horizon over the Pacific. There is something about watching the sun rise high above the world, about watching the colors spill across the sky that makes me always want to reflect, to take a moment high above the Earth to realize where I’ve been and where I’m headed. And perhaps it’s because this past month has brought many challenges that it’s made me think about things more deeply than usual, but I find myself thinking so much lately about this life we live and perhaps most importantly, the people we choose to spend it with.
Today Nick and I celebrate four years of marriage, an anniversary that brings with it so many memories, so many moments. And as I reflect and as I get older, I realize more and more that this life we are given, this life that we spend every day living is nothing if not with those that we love. With each year that passes, I hold all the memories, good and bad, all the moments, all the tears and all the joy, all the moments of pure love and the moments of heartache, I hold them all and let them piece me together piece by piece, holding me together in moments with the ones that I love. Love does something to us, it changes us molecule by molecule, it binds us to another person, it makes us worry about them, it makes us cherish them, it makes us want them above all else and when you really stop and think about that, it’s a pretty incredible concept. That as humans, we pick one person, out of the billions of us out there, one person that seemingly completes parts of ourselves that we might not have even known were missing before.
In four years of marriage (and nine years of being together) I have learned a lot about myself, about love and about the human spirit. But perhaps the most important thing I have learned is to hold on. We must hold on to those we love, both emotionally and physically and spiritually. We must hold on when we are pulled apart, when time and distance work against us. We must hold on when it seems impossible emotionally. We must hold on through that big fight or the stupid little arguments that always arise out of stress. We must hold on to our loves on those cold winter nights and hold on to their hands as we walk down the street. We must hold on to those morning kisses and those conversations throughout the day. We must hold on to who our lovers are, we must hold on to their thoughts and what makes them happy. And when time changes us and time moves us forward, whether we want it to or not, we must remember to hold on to the memories and all the moments that came before that moment, we must hold on to who we were when we fell in love and learn to move forward together.
My marriage is not perfect but one thing we have always done is to hold on together, through the storms, through the distance separating us, through the time and space we’ve encountered and I am so thankful that we’ve held on together over all these years. And so today I am thankful for my husband, for the man he’s become and the people we’ve become together. There is not a day that goes by that I’m not so thankful we said those I do’s four years ago, not a day that goes by that I don’t stop and smile to myself at all the amazing memories we’ve created together all over this world.
And so my love, thank you for marrying me, for showing me what true and unconditional love is. It’s not without its heartaches or its challenges, but what we have is real and I can’t wait to see all the amazing moments to come that await us.
And so my love, thank you for marrying me, for showing me what true and unconditional love is. It’s not without its heartaches or its challenges, but what we have is real and I can’t wait to see all the amazing moments to come that await us.